“It’s Christmas time! The day is almost here!” rings constantly through the air waves from November through January. There is no getting around it or avoiding it!
I have always loved Christmas! My favorite and first Christmas memory is of me finding a teddy bear under the tree on Christmas Eve. Then at midnight, being bundled up in snow suits with my brother, and riding in the car through the Michigan snow drifts for an hour to surprise my mother as she ended her nursing shift on Christmas morning.
Over the years Christmas has taken many forms and evoked an array of memories and feelings for me. Some are warm and wonderful, others not so much.
Christmas is not always an easy, fun time of year for many children, teens, and families.
Sometimes there are financial hardships, the loss of family loved ones, family estrangements, distance issues, and trauma. The holidays can evoke sadness, anger and depression for many. Sometimes the holidays triggers feelings. In a time marketed for hope many may feel hopeless. Negative interactions between people can arise as a result. Some individuals just shut down and go through the motions, hiding their misery behind a mask of pain.
How can a caregiver ease the stress on themselves and the children in their care if the Holidays are a little greyer than what society tells us they should be?
Three Things Care Givers Can Do to Help Your Child or Teen Through a Difficult Holiday Season
1 -It starts with self-care. Put your own “oxygen mask” on first. The more you as the caretaker can build capacity through small things that calm your nervous system the more capacity you will have to deal with any unraveling of your loved ones.
2 -Secondly, create predictability throughout the season as much as possible. Let everyone know what will happen and when. Work together to have as much structure to the daily schedules as possible. This helps calm the nervous system and helps with fears and triggers of the unexpected.
3 -Thirdly, intentionally plan time to do things together with your child or teen that will allow for the possibility and open the door for fun and laughter, help you both build capacity, and co-regulate. Play games, take walks, cook together, be creative together. Simply doing errands together can be a great time. Maybe even create some new traditions.
Remember the holidays are not just about presents and Hallmark family pictures. These things may be present and bring joy but, if not it’s OK. Work with what you have. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays.
To ease the holiday stress:
1 Take care of yourself by engaging in self-care
2 Create a predictable structure for the holiday season
3 Spend time just doing things together
Find joy in the little things. Build and strengthen connection with your children and teens by Spending time together. Tell your kids what is special about them and why they matter to you. At the end of the day Relationships are what matter.
If the holiday’s open up issues that need a little more help Spiral Roots LLC has openings for child therapy, teen therapy, and family therapy in Harrisonburg, VA.
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