Happy Snow Day: “Help My Kids Are Home!" - A Caregivers Guide to “Snow Day” Prep
Happy Snow Day! When it’s snowing (or icing) outside in a way that shuts things down the day can feel exhilarating or daunting. Especially, if there are children and teens at home! Melissa Deaton Cook LPC specializes in child and teen therapy in Harrisonburg, VA.
For some the words “Snow Day” strike fear, irritation, overwhelm, and for some of us it is pure joy and excitement. I was born in Michigan and grew up in Southern Mexico. But the snow bunny in me still thrives! My southern born husband bought me a kids book called “Hello Snow!” due to my intense joy of snow. I prop it up on the bookshelf every winter as a snow prayer. Even though I grew up in the tropics I love nothing more than a good snow that stays on the ground for days, my husband on the other hand likes one good day of snow and then he is over it! I like to go outside, he likes to hibernate. Which type of person are you?
How we feel about and perceive snow can affect how we respond emotionally and physically to an upcoming snowstorm. How we respond, mixed with how others respond, can greatly affect how our children and teens respond. You do not have to love or hate snow, but if you have children and teens you do have to consciously prepare and regulate both your emotional and physical response to a Snow Day. Children with trauma and mental health issues and teens with trauma and mental health issues need even more stability and predictability as their nervous systems are already on edge. Being aware of this and consciously preparing is a good way to have the best “Snow Day” possible.
When the words “Snow Day” start reverberating around town it has an impact on our thoughts and feelings.
When the word “snow” starts popping up I think a general initial reaction is a palpitating excitement in the air. Kids get excited for the white fluffy stuff to fall. Hoping it means no school, sleeping in, sledding, and playing outside. Adults begin to reminisce of picturesque scenes of snowy landscapes. Hot chocolate or wine by the fireside. Maybe warm memories of Snow Days gone by. Perhaps the luxury of one day off work. Everyone is talking about it. It is like an electric buzz in the air.
Then reality sets in. Oh no! what do I do about childcare? Is there enough food in the house? Do I really need bread and milk? Will the power go out? Wait, how will I get to work? Will the roads be icy? Will my boss understand? Do I bring the pets in? Should I really worry about this storm or is this media hype? What if, What if, What if, and so on. Things can quickly turn into a frenzied anxiety that permeates everything. What to do, how to plan, how to survive the ‘Snow Day”. And then What do I do with my child or teen if we really get snowed in? And, for those who live in the south we know that ‘Snow Day’ typically ends up being “Snow Days” with or without snow as school gets cancelled or delayed for days due to slick roads or icy cold!
As we hunker down and prepare for a “Snow Day” our physical energy and behavior can be affected. This affects children and teens as well and more so if they have trauma or mental health issues.
Once the initial mental buzz of excitement dies down. Anxiety can start to rise due to all the unknown factors and modern-day stressors. It is like the entirety of humanity loses their minds and begins to unravel. It begins with the hoarding of milk, bread, eggs, and toilet paper. People forget how to drive. Everyone starts to rush around. People become grumpy and cross. Common reactions can be anxious thoughts, physical tension, heightened alertness, emotional swings, and sometimes even acting out behaviors. This can be destabilizing and unsettling. Especially if there is a trauma history.
Everyone feels this. Children and teens as well. They feel the tension in the air created by the behavior of adults. If there is a trauma history, especially surrounding weather, children and teens may become more clingy, more whiny, more argumentative, forgetful, angry, and more isolated along with any of the typical behavioral responses to anger, grief, or a perception of being unsafe. Remember they are also reacting to the vibe around them and their own internal nervous systems.
Here are 6 Things caregivers can do to help keep the home environment stable and functioning when a “Snow Day” or storm is approaching.
First, we know that child and teen brains are not fully developed and so they “borrow” information from those around them. Meaning kids unconsciously pick up on what the adults around them are feeling or responding to. This unconscious download is what frequently prompts many of the behaviors mentioned above in children and teens. So, the first order of snow day prep is to calm yourself, maintain a predictable structured routine, and reassure your children and teens with your words and actions. This will allow them to “borrow” calm from your brain and nervous system through co-regulation. Once calm, proceed through the next six things to prepare for a successful “Snow Day”.
1) Take calm breaths and move your body when you start to feel stress or feel reactionary.
2) Keep to a predictable routine as much as possible.
3) Have your kids help with the things that they can help with. Such as getting out the shovels, the gloves, the coats, the flashlights, the candles etc.
4) Co-create shopping lists before going to the store to help navigate during shopping with more ease and less stress.
5) Make a list of things to do as a family and as individuals during the snow day. Get the puzzles and games out. Are there crafts supplies? Are there personal or community areas of the house that need special attention?
6) When the snow day arrives remember to integrate and allow for both family time and alone time. Especially with teens.
What to do when those “Snow Day” grumpies and behaviors arise as they will when children and teens are cooped up for too long?
When problems arise as they do when children and teens are cooped up for too long rely on Dr. Bruce Perry’s 3 R’ of Problem Solving: Regulate, Relate, Reason. https://youtu.be/sP78HCpZ-rU?si=YL82g65LmRktMA-B Dr. Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD, is a renowned psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and leading expert on childhood trauma. He developed the Nerosequential Model https://www.neurosequential.com/ which provides guidance and understanding on how the brains of children and teens work, particularly regarding the effects of trauma.
When “Snow Day” problems arise. Regulate all the feelings involved by taking a break and calming the environment, listen, try to understand, and then solve problems. After you solve the problem, then do something together that can open the door to truly mending those difficult emotions. Play, clean, dance. Anything that shakes up the “grumpy energy” and replaces it with more positive energy, so you don’t remain stuck. As a residential caregiver and therapist some of my best conversations came in the midst of doing something together after a problem. This opens the door for laughter, the rebuilding of trust, and a sense that everything is going to be ok.
“Snow Days” can be a wonderful time to strengthen relationships within the family, teach life lessons, and co-regulate the nervous systems.
Remember to calm your own nervous system and regulate yourself first. Remember your children and teens are being affected by the emotional push and pull of the unknown and instability of the approaching winter storm, especially in regard as to how the adults around them are responding. Engage your family with planning for the snow day. Find and plan times for family members to enjoy alone time and family time during the “Snow Day”. Use the three R’s when problems do arise. The key to all of this is to spend time together. Quiet time, silly time, loud time, together time, alone time; it does not matter. What matters is that you are together enjoying space, nature (Snow Day), and each other.
Work, play, dance, and laugh together to build those lasting relationships within the family. Use this “Snow Day” to make lasting memories for both you and your family. Happy Snow Day from Melissa Deaton Cook LPC and Spiral Roots LLC.
Melissa Deaton Cook LPC bilingual child and teen therapist in Harrisonburg, Virginia.
Melissa Deaton Cook LPC, NCC, ACS
Melissa helps kids feel safe, supported, & empowered to be their best unique selves! Struggling children and teens know that they are seen, they are heard, and that they matter when they work with Melissa. Melissa Deaton Cook LPC uses trauma informed expressive art, sand tray, play therapy, nature based, and cognitive therapy to facilitate change. “Melissa is like a child and teen first responder” Jennie -First Responder. Melissa helps dysregulated children and teens struggling with trauma, depression, anxiety, mental health issues, behavior issues, family separations and more to regulate and learn to function in their community. All are welcome! Melissa’s focus is to help kids learn to regulate, communicate, and strengthen their relationships in the home and community so they can develop the capacity to grow and become their best selves. Melissa may be contracted for dynamic trauma trainings, expressive arts workshops, and team building events. Learn More
Other Blogs In This Series:
Stuck Inside on a Snow Day! A Great Time for Arts & Crafts & Creativity! https://www.spiralroots.org/blog/stuck-inside-on-a-snow-day-a-great-time-for-arts-amp-crafts-amp-creativity
Step Out Into Nature: Mental & Physical Health Benefits of Playing Outside on a “Snow Day” & 11 Snow Based Play Ideas for Children, Teens, & Families. https://www.spiralroots.org/blog/step-out-into-nature-mental-amp-physical-health-benefits-of-playing-outside-on-a-snow-day-amp-11-snow-based-play-ideas-for-children-teens-amp-familie